All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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