thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
