You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
