Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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