is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
