I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
