I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
