I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
