But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im holly from the hills drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
