Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
