were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
