whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
