Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
