sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
