Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
