I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
