The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
