I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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