i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Boobs are out for the taking
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
