I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
