Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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