i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
