Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
