Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
