so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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