Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
