i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
