Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
