forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
