Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cut my penus on the lid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
