I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Drake has all the answers
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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