its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
