How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
pop tarts are not kleenex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
