Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
