Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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