The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
