Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
