Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
