you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
