that's an acceptable place to lick
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
