you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
