whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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