Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She even gives head with a lisp.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
