Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she peed on how many people?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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