My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
