their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
