We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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