Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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