there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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