Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
