carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
