roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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