Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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