Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
