Screwed.edu
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
